Wi Fit party helps dystonia?

Frankly before I went to the Wi Fit party, I regarded Wii Fit as a bit of joke.  My husband showed me the Wii Fit parody.   "Wii Fit...a little plastic thing you stand on" "Don't want to invest $3.19 for a hula hoop,  why not pick up a Wii for just $300, and enjoy the same fun.. without that annoying plastic hoop?"

But hey, if Nintendo and City Mama offers me free food and drinks and a moms night out, I'm game..literally.   I bought a Wii from going to her last Nintendo Wii party. 

The party started out a bit nervously as the Nintendo folks demonstrated the body check.  Okay they picked the skinniest mom in the room whose BMI was listed as underweight, but looking around, I thought few would volunteer for that part. 

Then it was on to various "Balance Games" We started with the ball game.  It sounds simple enough.  You shift your weight around to tilt a surface and move a ball into a hole.  Then you get more balls and more holes.  I could see it would improve my balance, because I was concentrating on moving the ball rather than on what I was doing with my body.  I did quite well in that game.  Okay not greatest game ever, but considering that I was improving my balance, it was not a bad way to do it.

The Wii Fit also liked how I performed a yoga position. Now that was a joke, because due to my disability, dystonia, I kept jerking and the little bubble that showed your center of balance kept shifting.  Still I got 3 out of 4 stars.  I don't do much yoga in real life due to my jerking, and I don't think I'll be doing Wii Fit Yoga again. 

I enjoyed more a silly game where you're a Mii (a Wii version of a person) dressed in a penguin suit and you're on a iceberg and balance from side to side and catch fish.

I also enjoyed Slalom where like in real life you have to shift your weight from side to side to move your skiis. I was atrocious and big red FAILED showed on the screen.  For the ski long jump if you fail your Mii tumbles over and over in a big snowball.

I pondered whether the decision to keep the decidedly Japanese culture of winners and losers was a thought-out marketing decision, or simply a direct translation of the game from Japan as I watched women down Odwalla shots.  Now Odwalla makes you feel good.

I decided to play a "Fitness game." or "Step on the white thing"
according to the parody.  I know some geeks who use Dance Dance Revolution as exercise.  As the parody suggests, it was far slower which is good for a klutz like me, but also far less interesting.  The characters were all Miis and the music unvarying Ninetozak.  If you've played Donkey Kong or any Mario game, you've heard this music a thousand times.  I doubt I'd get up off the couch to step on the white thing.

I also glimpsed at the jogging game with its atrocious graphics, but I couldn't watch it for long.  According to Beth, it takes your heartbeat, but so does a cheap heart monitor.  Another mom commented "I hate annoying guy waving at you" [when you jog]

I still didn't like the hula hoop.  I never could hula as a kid and the
game mechanics proved even more awkward than doing it with a real hoop.

Proper body balance improves health and longevity and I used to literally lose my balance and fall down.  I now have a service dog who helps me with balance. 

I got home and talked it over with my husband.  He said the Wii Fi will be about $90.  That's cheaper than a physical therapy appointment or a course at the chiropractor.  If the Wii Fit does improve my balance, it will be worth it. 

In terms of cardiovascular exercise, the Wii Fit pales in comparison to the shiny metal of standard gym equipment, but then so many Americans need to just move every day.  Maybe moving on a white plastic thing as part of a game will help.

My Hermione matching story

They didn't bring Hermione out to our class until the end of the second day which is the last day before prematches when they give you a dog they think you might graduate with. When they gave me her leash, I felt the calmest I had felt the entire Team Training. I'm not normally a nervous person, but Team Training was hard with no family the first week.

I also felt she was smart and like she could also be really sweet, although she was being her serious public self. I thought all the dogs had special qualities. But I was all worried about prematches. I hadn't seen Hermone's goofy playful side, so I was worried.

There were 3 folks coming back for successor dogs and they all seemed content to wait for their matches. I should have taken their cue.

The night before prematches I tossed and turned until 3am. Then I remembered how one of the trainers commented she liked how she said Hermione. I went to sleep and slept soundly the rest of the night.

The next day I walked in our class and snuck a peek at the crates that were there. Hermione's crate was there and I got a little excited.

The Skilled Companions went first. As some of the kids were matched their total joy made me cry. I laughed when they gave one mom the CCI cat dressed in a vest, because she had petted the cat the whole time.

Then it was my class' turn. I saw a black dog being brought out. Was that my dog? The trainer brought the dog down the hall and someone else in my service class was announced. The person looked thrilled. Another black dog that I thought was a great dog went to someone else. An enormous yellow dog went to someone. I thought he was a wonderful dog, but too big for my kids. Then I saw petite Hermione being led down the hall. I held my breath. There were still some folks left. They started leading Hermione over to me and announced Hermione's name and my name and I cried all over Hermione. Hermione wagged her tail. I was thrilled.

Knowing what I know now, Hermione was giving me her polite tail wag, not the entire wiggle butt I get every morning, but it was enough for me that day.

Hermione seemed polite but somewhat aloof that first day. Then on Valentine's day, we had our first night with the dogs. As soon as we got to our room, Hermione's tail started wagging. Then when I leaned down to turn on the tv, she rolled on her back exposing her tummy. I petted her and she thumped her tail.

However I still wasn't sure if Hermione really wanted to be with me. Final matches hadn't been announced yet and I took it a personal thing about my bonding with Hermione. My family was coming and I fretted about whether to kennel her for 36 hours while my family settled in or not. I decided to kennel her.

On Monday morning, I walked into the classroom and heard this loud thumping from Hermione's crate. We were supposed to have a lecture and then do command practice with the dogs. The thumping continued louder and louder. Finally the trainers said "Okay we'll let the dogs out first." Hermione wiggled out and wiggled her entire butt. I put her on her leash and she walked calmly over to the table and did a UNDER with this long satisfied sigh and settled down for a nap by my feet. Finally the clueless human got a clue bone.

As soon as we got home, she bounced around in excitement. My kids call her "maniac dog", because she can run like the wind. She is also still "chill dog" and "snooze dog"

Involution of mom

C says he didn't give Little T aspirin on Sunday. One frigging day. It comforts him and makes me feel things are balanced by a hair.

I hope that he's bigger and stronger and won't need steroids this time and certainly not chemo.

Last night Special K was talking about Pokemon "involution" meaning evolution. Involution is the mysterious process by which the tumor starts shrinking again. I hope involution has started and its brief evolution or growth was just a day. That's never how it's worked. But then this tumor has never worked the way "it's supposed to". I've heard "it's not supposed to do that" so many times. Can't it work the way it's not supposed to and suddenly start involuting again with just going back to aspirin. You don't need steroids.

Little T understands much more this time. Far more than I probably know. He was extra snuggly this morning.

I just have to dump my fears and worries here and live in the present.

Red monster returns

This morning Little T's teacher called and said that Little T's left arm was red swollen and felt hot. This teacher is always matter of fact and patient and delivered this news calmly but she called first thing.

I called Hematology and told his doctor the news. I said I'd bring him in if the teacher's description was correct. I hoped anyway that somehow it was Opposite day and the teacher was exaggerating. But no Little T had hot sausage arm. And was fussy in that way he has when arm hurts.

The Hemo doctor wanted to rule out a fracture and so his arm was x-rayed. I have never hoped for a fracture before but I did and knew it was futile. Bone structure is fine. Swelling looks like blood vessels. A pause as the doctor tries to hope too.

The swelling and redness looks all too horribly familiar. The start of Kasabach Merritt Syndrome again. It's too early to say for sure and nothing is being done. Well okay another MRA which means another round of anesthesia. Seeing him go under is a terror that never dulls.

But back to the Hemo clinic where now Little T can play the Ninetendo. Kinda. Hermione was there and was helpful. I want to whine that Hermione was supposed to make things better. My magical companion.

I said at the Hemo clinic "I have a bad feeling about this." I still do. I want desperately to be wrong...for once.

We take photos of his left arm. Another familiar thing which we will go back to doing everyday. New twist is now Little T hates it and protests.

I want to shout "Can't the kid grow and not have this red monster grow too?" I want to cry but I don't because that would confirm my worst fears.

So let's have it be Opposite Day where I'm wrong and everything will be just fine. I hold on to that hope.

And new thing. We will now all go for walk with Hermione. Maybe that will be the spell that will break the red monster's hold. His arm grows slightly cooler and I hope and then heats up again. Walk to cool down. A walking spell. A walking meditation. It's all I have new. That and cod liver oil imported from Norway which he asked for yesterday. It must be new and different. Not the same.

My new life with Hermione, my service dog

Sorry I've not updated in so long. My whole life changed the day before Valentine's Day when I received my new partner service dog Hermione. She brings magic into my life everyday. We go out everyday by ourselves and I walk faster, because I don't have two kids in tow and because Hermione matches my steps, so if I stumble I have an area where I know to go.

I hadn't realized how much subconsciously I avoided going out without my adorable kids. But now I have a pretty dog. People smile at me and open doors for me and Hermione instead of getting impatient with me for being slow or dropping things or worse make rude remarks as if I can't hear. Hermione also opens my fridge door, pushes push plates and picks things up for me.

I thought I was getting a dog to help me. The organization I got her from is called Canine Companions for Independence (CCI). I've also thought of myself as an independent person and spent the first few days I was at CCI wondering if I belonged there with folks in wheelchairs. Then I got really discouraged as my spatial issues became profoundly clear. Then I actually worked on them instead of spending that time kicking myself for not for example understanding how a door opens without actually seeing it open.

One of my LJ friends put it best I've spent most of my life trying to "pretend I was a defective normal person instead of a "ok person with a disability." As one of my classmates said to me "I embrace my limitations rather than fighting them so I can do more." I am still exhausted from my training and my increased physical activity of exercising a dog and walking more. But my whole outlook has changed. I don't fight to get by. I try to figure out how to adapt conditions to improve my life with my disability. Already I'm doing more. I can't wait to see what future brings.

My votes for Super Tuesday

I'm pleased California actually counts in the primary. My two top issues are health care and the environment. Clinton and Obama are similar on environment. Clinton favors health care for all which makes sense but I'm not sure will pass politically. Obama favors health care for all kids. It means adults are left out in the cold but who can vote against kids. Congress already has some healthcare for kids. So I'll vote for Obama.

I think America is more ready to elect a man whose father was from Kenya and mom from America than the wife of a former president. The Clintons have made a lot of enemies as well as friends. I am also impressed that Obama has lined up some key endorsements like Ted Kennedy and several unions. Clinton is very detail oriented a good thing. Unfortunately attention to detail doesn't make a president electable as Reagan and Bush Jr have shown. It's the ability to surround yourself with good people. Obama appears to have that trait. Since turnout is usually low I think if Barack can get out the vote on presidental election day he will win.

On state propositions:
I'm voting yes on reform to term limits. I think term limits are undemocratic and don't allow congresspeople to build up enough experience and longevity to allow them more free reign to make deals and not be so tied to lobbyists. And the same folks run over and over just in different jobs so it doesn't stop the politicians from coming back anyway.

I'm voting no on everything else. I think the Indian gaming agreements need to happen in Congress and not via propositions. I don't have time to figure out all the ramifications of the agreement. That's why I elect politicians. I have seen countless ads on tv and via US mail so clearly a lot of money is riding on this.

I don't like earmarking funds for specific things in the budget. The state Congress needs the flexibility to create budgets in good times and bad. If you don't like your Congresspeople then vote for better folks.

$30,373 medical bill $0 paid

We get bills like this all the time. This one was a relatively small one. Little T pulled his g-tube out and we weren't able to put it back in time. We had to go the Emergency Room and then Little T had an minor operation to widen the hole to put another g-tube back in.

The total billed costs which is what an uninsured person would pay are $30,773.50

Medical Inpatient $ 21,921.00
Outpatient charge $ 91.50
Diagnostic Testing$ 8,361.00

Our insurance actually paid $3,900 of the inpatient rate which is their contracted rate. They paid nothing for the other two charges "payment for this service is included in the per diem rate or per case rate fee paid to your provider."

We paid nothing as our insurance pays for all hospitalizations and ER visits that result in admittance to the hospital.

Moral of the story:
1. Uninsured folks get really soaked.
2. Get the best health care insurance you can afford
3. We really need health care reform in this country, because it's a crappy system where folks who are either too poor or too unable to plan to get health insurance pay the most.
4. I bet Medical/Mediaid also gets soaked as they probably have a higher negotiated rate than insurance.

Laptop cured, but I'm sick and nervous about leaving the kids

I have a cold virus.

I am putting together my packing list for Team Training for Canine Companions for Independence (CCI) which is just 10 days away.

Yesterday I photocopied the schedule for the entire 2 weeks, my dorm assignments and all the directions to various places around the CCI campus.

Don't get me wrong. C's a wonderful father, but he's a WAW (Work at Work) dad. But WOW is how folks often view dads that do anything with their kids. I'm nervous, because I'm basically leaving the kids under his care for 13 days and I feel he has NO idea about what it's like to look after the kids full-time. He's gone camping with them and several other families for a couple weekends, but the village helps out.

Ironically I would feel better if he was a bit more nervous. Instead he says things "I think we'll be fine." I hope he is nervous, but just doesn't want me to worry.

I have never been so thrilled to receive diapers

Little T's preschool just sent home his diapers and wipes today. I've never been so thrilled to receive diapers in my entire life. It means he's now totally potty trained at preschool.

Potty training at home remains literally a balancing act. Unfortunately my dystonia and his one-handedness clash. He needs support to stand up and lean forward which is extremely hard on my hands and arms, so at the moment he can only go with my husband. Plus my jerking unsettles him. So right now he just goes when my husband is here.

HP Hero

My husband's HP recovery disks just arrived via Fedex priority overnight for FREE.

Maybe they can help save my laptop. But I'll need to wait to find out. Little T just got home and I have even bigger news.

Shame on you, Sony!

Dear Sony,
Yes it's true I broke my hard disk. Yes, it's true I didn't make recovery disks as you instructed me to do.

However I broke my hard disk because I thwacked it due to my disability. I don't expect you to pay for that. However I don't understand why you place your hard disk right on the top right edge. You could have placed your tiny hard disk in a location a lot less likely to be damaged. I've had 4 laptops in my time and hit each one of them and never broke a hard disk before including the first one ever invented.

But your worst sin is charging me almost $50 for recovery disks that cost you less than $5 to make and ship to me. It is usurious. If you charged me a reasonable price, I would not complain. And you have me up a creek. It's either cough up $50 or buy another laptop.

Shame on you Sony for taking advantage of me in my time of need.

Shame, shame Sony!

Your rival HP sent my husband recovery DVDs for free. It's true that the recovery program didn't work and HP only allows you to make one copy. Even so, it illustrates how little recovery disks cost.

I was a big fan of your VAIO laptops, but after this experience I will probably NEVER buy another Sony laptop.

Sony, you have gained $50, and lost thousands and thousands of dollars from me. I purchase laptops every few years for the rest of my life, which I hope will last for several more decades.

Your practice of charging insane amounts for recovery disks is not only shameful, but also bad business.

Stupid and shameful Sony!

Stay-at-home server not appropriate for kids

Microsoft has hit back at the funny Mac/PC ads with its own web site stayathomeserver.com

The ads are funny, but also touch on a few more important Mom issues like the decision to stay at home being wimpy.  I am a stay-at-home mother. Ironically we have a Microsoft work server at home.  My husband works one day a week at home.

However the ads and the website mention little about security, my chief concern.  Due to my concerns about my children's safety, the Microsoft Media Server sits in our bedroom.  This is not my place of choice.  It's rather noisy.  It turns on at random times in the night.  My husband talks about tuffing it out to the study where our other servers live, but I refuse.  Microsoft has always had a poor record of security and in its line of media it's awful. 

I have no idea about the server's "parental controls" which I don't believe in anyway since that depends on others to tag videos. Worse, there's little control over what appears on the screen. Take the video section. It displays random videos from the Internet. That's fine except for this "feature" C and I will watch a funny video of a baby or a kitten. Okay the humor comes from bad behavior, but it's a baby or kitten. Unless we're very quick to stop it, the Media Center then randomly shows us another humor video. As you can imagine humor on the Internet varies a great deal in taste and appropriateness for children. The next video may be an adult farting, because the previous video was about a baby making silly noises. Sorry Microsoft, NOT the same thing. My daughter just turns away and says "Ewww gross!!!" No harm done. But we have not ventured forth into more potentially more dangerous areas.

My daughter loves to watch YouTube Videos. But I can preview the video ahead of time and it never plays a video unless I specifically tell it to. Yes the world of YouTube is filled with videos not appropriate for a 5 year old, but it's also filled with touching videos of puppies and kittens and assistance dogs. As I prepare to bring an assistance dog into my own life, I want to show her what these amazing animals do. I recently and wrongly used the word "comfort dog" to describe dogs that bring comfort to those who are ill or suffering. My friend snickered loudly. I can only imagine what would happen if my daughter unsuspectingly typed in those words into Microsoft's server. So the server is staying in our bedroom. A work server at home and unfortunately not appropriate for kids.

Crossposted to Silicon Valley Moms Blog

Experiments with an automatic soap dispenser

One of my learnings for the past year has been that what might seem frippery or luxury to some may actually help my hands.

So it was that yesterday I found myself in Brookstone, a store for those in general who have more money than they know what to do with. Example: digital weather display and clock: $60

I bought a stainless steel soap automatic dispenser. As with all things Brookstone, it was well made, but far more expensive than it ought to be. $40

So far I'm still learning the process of using it. Too far under the sensor and I jerk and the soap plops on the counter instead of my hand. Or I manage not to jerk and receive a large dollop of soap. Today I discovered you have to lightly brush the sensor and then it dispenses slightly more than I'd like, but not the huge splat of yesterday. I *think* once I learn it will save me points, but I need a few more days to be sure.

Pushing down on the soap dispenser is a small amount of points, but one I do all day long as the mom of two small children, one of whom has fragile health. For me, bar soap has been an adventure, a little fun in my salad days when I had more time to jerk around. Picture me jerking a slippery object and watching it slide around the sink and on bad days across the room.

Dystonia on a treadmill

Treadmills have always scared me. I'm afraid I'll fall or stumble and hurt myself. Yesterday I learned that my fear was rational.

I wanted to try the treadmill, because I thought I'd be walking my service dog, so I need to practice running and walking. It turned out to be a BAD IDEA. The treadmill has a lot of free space, so you have to think about where your body is in relation to space and time. Whoever said that my dystonia only affects my upper body should be forced to endure what I did. The effects on my lower body are subtle and very stressed induced.

I tried to get the treadmill up to what I though was a usual pace and I started running flat footed. I tried to stop running that way and ran normally for a few paces and then my right knee locked up. It wouldn't unlock until I went back to a walk. I've noticed that my right knee very occasionally locks up at night since I was little. My parents used to call it a charlie horse. Now that I think about it, it would lock up after experiencing a particular type of emotional stress - hard to put into words, but unresolved arguing. In this case I was arguing with my body and losing.

So I walked. Then I started to get a bit tired and I swayed to the left as I sometimes do when tired. It used to result in me falling, but now I have better one-legged balance thanks to my son's PT, so I recovered.

I did 15 minutes as I promised myself I'd do. But I'm done with treadmills. I can walk or run with my dog, but no treadmill will be involved. My right knee still hurts slightly.

I do much better on the elliptical. There is no unmapped space on the Precor. Your feet go into these foot wells. Your hands go onto the handlebars. My body knows what it should be doing. I get a much better workout on the elliptical, because my body is not fighting against its dystonia.

Things I never thought I'd say or do as a parent

"Stop reading and put on your shoes."
"Don't use the dark force on your brother." (while playing Lego Star Wars)
"Stop drinking vinegar."
"No thanks, I don't like strawberries, lettuce and vinaigrette dressing."
Check labels for the highest fat content. (My son's is being weaned off a feeding tube.)

What's your list?

Crossposted to Silicon Valley Moms Blog

1234567890 seconds old

Yesterday my husband threw me a surprise birthday party to celebrate my being 1234567890 seconds old.

I loved the idea as a total nerd and because my regular birthday always falls right around Thanksgiving.

All my life I've wanted a surprise party. My husband finally pulled one off.

So far this seems to be a year of my dreams coming true, but all was not sunshine quite literally.

We drove through a terrible storm to get the kind friends who hosted my party.
And my parents' power had been out for the last 48 hours and so had all her friends, so my sister-in-law and sister baked my cake at the last minute.

My dad said that they got home to a cold dark house, and then a minute later the house lit up again like magic.

The whole thing was a great symbol of my life so far.

Memories from 2007 I want to keep

Memories in the corner of my mind..what's too painful to remember I simply choose to forget, so it's the laughter I will remember whenever I remember the way we were.

Learning better balance and better ways to prevent falling thanks to Little T's PT

Return of Cheery Nanny

Special K loses a tooth then two more

My bright curious healthy niece and the way LT and she adore each other. Watching my brother be a daddy.

Our first plane trip as a family and our enjoyable time with Isabella and Radu and visiting Seattle

Little T's sudden plunge into talking and climbing stairs and now toilet training and suddenly he's 3.

Little T waiting eagerly for his bus ride so excited to get on. Me nervous. And my first meeting with his marvelous preschool teacher.

A postcard from Oxaca welcoming Special K to her class. My mum, C, SK, LT and all went that first day and C read to LT, because SK could already read.

Our WII - truly a family game

Waiting for and finally getting my doggy date

Suddenly LT is eating and eating and eating.

And I did so much this year, but so much of it involves pain, but I did get LT into preschool and he's growing and growing. And SK's in Kindergarten and reading and reading.

At once I can't believe 2007 is over. It went by in what seems like a blur. But I'm glad to see the back of it. In Burma they sing
2007 gone away
2007 gone away
2008 welcome
2008 welcome
Welcome 2008! I hope you bring many good things!

WII Games my kids love and hate

Since I obtained a WII through my blog connections, I figured it was only fair to blog about it.

• Super Mario Galaxy - my daughter is amazing at this game
  

C hates it, so we bought him some Orange Box thing - the best value in videogame history it touts. So far it seems to me like Half Life whose name I only remember, because it's a fun name for a first person shooter game

• Lego Star Wars - still going strong though I bought it for them as my birthday gift near Thanksgiving. They laugh and laugh at this game. They never tire of the jumping and running around. My husband is amused by the Star Wars story.
  
• Guitar Hero though they both love to watch it, not play it.
• Boogie - thought it's not so fun for me, because I have to sing "Doncha" over and over and over again. I wish WII would come out with a real karoke game.
  
• WII Sports - a surprise one, but my son still loves the fishing game and sometimes the shooting game, though sometimes he says it's too scary.

Failures

• Cars - The voices and animation and crazy driving held my boy's interest for a while, but after a couple weeks he stopped asking to play it. It's not interesting enough to hold adult interest and he still needs an adult to play with him.
• Zelda - "Too scary" say both of them, though they happily watch the Lego figures blow apart. My husband likes it, but not enough to play it when they're not around.

Crossposted to my LJ.

Mostly good Christmas

I had a mostly good Christmas. A few rocky spots, but the kids romped through with minimal crying.

They did stay up until 11pm on Christmas Day and then Little T fell out of bed at 4am with a loud thump and woke up crying. This symbolizes my Christmas for me. Mostly peaceful with occasional and unexpected thumps.

I'm still figuring out where the thumps come from. Part of it is that we visit my parents' house very infrequently except during the holidays. Mostly it's all managing the kids so that stress is minimized. Little T in particular has a certain routine and when that routine is disrupted, he cries. For a typical kid, this would be just part of the holidays. With Little T, I get into this space where I feel he's wasting calories. A bad space. We're a few months away to removing the g-tube forever. A feat we've accomplished by not stressing about calories and just working on feeding him.

Little T ate and ate and ate at my parents. I've never seen the boy eat so much. Honestly this was the highlight of my Christmas. I say this not to minimize the other joys of Christmas, but just that seeing him eating with such gusto after months and months of struggling with bags and bags of messy formula and vomiting and reflux filled me with such joy and pride.

Another joy was to see my little niece so healthy and active and curious and to watch Little T's utter adoration of her. He seems to regard her as his younger sister. In Burmese, there is no word for cousin, your cousins are your brothers and sisters. That's clearly how he feels. He loves babies in general. But he greets my niece as if she was the best baby on earth. She of course responds with a joyful smile. My niece doesn't bestow her smiles on everyone. She's a serious intense little girl who has things to grab, people to look at. It's funny how even at 6 months, personality is clear. Even as a newborn, she gazed at you with great intensity.

I had other joys and other rocky spots, a personal rocky spot -- my wrists and hands just gave out at about 7pm last night and started just aching a lot. A wrist soak and stretches and a good night's sleep got them to tentative okayness. But they are on the edge. Typing is one of the least stressful things I can do with them. Even so, I will rest them and end this post.

We hold it within ourselves to be good family

My package for my parents has spent Christmas eve sitting in the UPS warehouse about 40 miles from our house, so alas not in time for Christmas. I ordered in on Dec 18, so UPS does not get my Christmas cheer this year. But it does mean we will visit them again once the package arrives, so I guess it is good cheer for my parents.

We did avert one Christmas crisis by buying the last two Christmas puddings at Andronico's. Otherwise my mom would make it herself which takes at least 7 hours. I kid you not.

But the kids are really excited this year mostly about spending time with extended family and that's what Christmas is about for me. A friend who's had a particularly hard year this year blogged "We hold it within ourselves to be good family." And that's what I strive for.

Personally I don't care if we have Christmas pudding or not, but it matters a lot to my dad. So after a lunch with my brother's in-laws, we drove to Andronico's. My son was already fast asleep and my daughter who normally loves shopping refused to leave the car. I thought about whether to spend the wrist points to get out of the car and carry those puddings. My husband offered to do it. I briefly wished my service dog was already here. But I decided that getting the right pudding was worth it and my husband doesn't know about Christmas pudding. So off I went. I returned and discovered they had overcharged us. My husband just said he'd go back. He understood the cost to me to go back again.

My mom only vaguely understands my daily pain and my dad not all. My service dog may teach them. I have no idea. But I've decided it doesn't matter. My children don't understand the costs of the things I do except in vague terms. Sometimes we talk about wrist points. And I don't really want them to. I try to be good family.