Sunday, April 05, 2009

A farewell pose

I should have left a note at the door or something.

I stopped blogging in September. My first service dog Hermione was on her way to retiring. I knew it and it loomed large and it was completely unbloggable mostly because I didn't want her puppyraisers to find about it other than the CCI approved way since I certainly didn't know what to say.

All is copasetic. Hermione's living with her puppyraisers as their pet and having a wonderful time. I have a successor service dog named Tovi who's just fab. I could have blogged this back in February when it all happened.

But I just didn't feel like it. I'd start a post and then never post it. I got an email from Blog Her ads that they were closing my account. I'm sad about it, because it represents a departure from the momblogger community if I ever belonged, but not sad enough to post.

But I held an Oscar at my daughter's school district fundraisers. Just briefly because it's really heavy. In our group photo, Tovi's gazing right at the Oscar like she knows she won it. She certainly has won the Oscar for Best Performance by an Assistance Dog.

Several months later...(I can be a slow thinker) and I realize what's happened. My daughter's learning to read precipitated the end of this blog. My daughter's extremely kind, but until I became a mother, I myself didn't understand how hard it is and how fiercely I love my children.

I don't regret anything I've written, because it was my truth at the time. I do regret hurting anyone's feelings, because that was never my intention. A blog also has the unique capacity to capture one's feeling and thoughts at moment in time, but freeze them as if they were forever.

And so I say farewell to you on this blog. Thank you for all your comments. Most of you have been very sweet. Of course I'll be elsewhere on the Internet. I've been online since the mid 80's and am too stuck in my ways to stop now.

You can also read my essays "Gimp Geek" in the anthology She's Such a Geek and "Popeye" in My Baby Rides the Short Bus appearing this winter.