TV my drug of choice

I confess tv is my drug of choice when life is stressful. When things are bad with Little T, I watch a lot of tv. In the hospital, at home holding him being human pillow, I watched a lot of tv. When life gets too overwhelming and talking about it just won't help, I watch tv. Being a Silicon Valley mom, I have a Tivo, so I only watch tv of my choice. The tv my kids watch is always educational.

As drugs go, tv is wonderful, the best. It lets you forget about life for a while. It relaxes you. It produces a trance like state similar to that found in a good narcotic. Then you can turn the thing off,and except for perhaps wasting some time, there are no side effects. And you might even learn something.

The righteous parents who decry how tv rots children's brains must have forgotten how much tv they watched as kids. The studies that show kids IQs dropping or speech delays with a few hours of tv a week seem extremely flawed to me. They are often based on self-reported data. Sure if you sit your child in front of the tv all damn day, their brain will rot. Not necessarily because of the tv watching, but because kids need stimulation besides tv.

Or maybe the parents of kids with problems sit them in front of tv because they don't know what else to do with them. These parents will probably not admit in a survey that their child watches tv all day. Instead they'll respond 'a few hours a week' like the rest of us.

Both my children watch tv as part of a balanced diet of activities. Special K also eats treats as part of a balanced diet of food. I feel sorry for those kids who never get to watch tv. I regard them the same as the child who never got to eat anything sweet growing up. She was always sneaking candy, because it was this forbidden treat. Once your kids go to school, you can not escape tv or sweet things, so you may as well teach your kids to be responsible consumers.

We don't watch commercials, though sometimes we zip by them. I've told my daughter how ads make things frequently look better than they are and people are trying to sell things. She notices ads all the time anyway. Ads are not restricted to the tv. Step outside and billboards are everywhere. Another silly argument for avoiding tv, shot down.

The Tivo saved my breastfeeding. Sure breastfeeding is magical for five minutes, but then your baby breastfeeds for another fifteen to twenty minutes. I had limits to how long I could stare at my baby's guzzling mouth and the back of my baby's head.

The Baby Einstein video or any video has allowed me to regain my sanity during the midafternoon crazies when the kids are getting way too punchy and I'm too tired to wind them down myself. The alternative is me yelling at them or putting them screaming in their crib or bed. Instant calm. We all relax.

I'm not saying hand over the remote control to your toddler and let her watch hours of tv unsupervised, but this parent is really tired of reading about how tv or any technology is the cause of a host of ills and therefore should be avoided. Cars accidents are a leading cause of death for children. Nonetheless I drive my children in cars everyday. No one suggests banning children from cars.

I believe my job as a parent is to use technology responsibly. I use tv like any other parenting tool I have. I have no problems with tv rating systems. I do have a problem with parents who expect the rating system to supervise their children when they use tv instead of themselves and then make it harder for me to have access to tv. Unlike a movie on the big screen, it costs nothing but time to watch a tv show.

I personally have watched every show my kids have watched, not every episode, but every show. I plan to do this until my kids are old enough to be saavy media consumers. I don't think any rating system can tell me what my child finds scary or disturbing. My daughter doesn't find hospitals at all scary, so any medical drama is fine. However arguing is scary to her, so Cinderella is scary.

If I had to do slogans for tv education, it would go like this: "TV's a powerful and useful drug, so please watch it responsibly."

The Kims could have been my family

Last night I saw the news that James Kim died of hypothermia.  With a sudden shock, I realised "I know that guy!"  I wracked my brain.  Then like a true geek, I used google.

James Kim was a senior CNET editor.  He appeared on my Tivo every week explaining the latest digital audio gadgets.  His eyes lit up and he smiled when he showed something he thought was particularly marvelous.   I will miss him.  I watched him both because I really want an IPod and because he was cute.

I had heard there was a family that was lost in the Pacific Northwest.  I didn't really pay much attention.  I broke my toe ten days ago and I've been craving more mindless entertainment.  I didn't expect to actually recognise the guy.

I know that James Kim left the car to help his family.  I could see that James Kim was clearly an intelligent man.  He and his family were very resourceful in their efforts to survive for a week with no food and no emergency supplies.

It made me realise that the only thing currently in my car is a basic first aid kit, a small water bottle and some jumper cables.  Before we drive in snow, I'll buy some space blankets (very small and cheap), some flares and a few emergency food rations (again they're small).  I already have my earthquake survival kit at home that fits in a backpack.

It's hard to write a post like this without sounding like I'm blaming or criticizing James Kim.  I'm not. In fact when I was about nine, my own family narrowly escaped Kim's fate of dying by hypothermia.  They hiked down Grand Canyon without correctly estimating how long it was until sunset. My mom tripped on a rock and hurt her leg, which further slowed them down. They wound up hiking on very narrow trails with no flashlight. They too got lost. They also got very cold.  Luck saved them.  Their wrong trail eventually led to a road.

I think that lesson didn't quite sink in because it had a happy ending.  I will learn from James Kim and be more prepared, because you never know when you may get stuck in a very bad situation.

Star Trek: New Voyages

I'm surprised I didn't learn about this before, but I haven't read much buzz about Star Trek New Voyages

You download it off the Internet for free, so it's a true labor of love. The sounds and music of the original Star Trek are reproduced faithfully and the same characters are portrayed by different actors who act in the same style as the original series as well. I waffle whether I find this charming or annoying. The special effects rival a decent video game. Gene's Rodenberry's son has given this effort his seal of approval during the filming of the second episode, so it carries the Star Trek name.

I watched "In Harm's Way", the second episode of two. The first episode was their pilot. This episode is a flying cowboy episode with lots of shooting spaceships and tricky maneuvers. Kirk doesn't get a girl. My favourite episodes were when Spock gets the girl. However the episode featured twists and turns, solid problem solving from Spock and the usual death defying stunts from Kirk. Unfortunately the writing suffered somewhat from what I call "fanboy syndrome". It required a detailed understanding of the episodes "Doomsday Machine" and "The City on the Edge of Forever". I had seen both episodes years ago, but I'd forgotten the details, so I was quite lost until C explained things to me. So if you don't remember these episodes, I recommend watching them beforehand or reading an episode summary.

It did make me appreciate how hard it must be to write tv scripts. I never get lost watching Star Trek episodes. Somehow they remind me of backstory without hitting me over the head too much, or losing me.

However the next episode due in 2006 was written by DC Fontana who wrote several scripts for the original Star Trek and several books. And I expect it will be fun and interesting.

I encourage any and all Star Trek fans to download the episode, or at least visit the site. I truly think it's a worthy effort and represents what I love best about the Internet.
Live Long and Prosper!

TV my drug of choice

I confess tv is my drug of choice when life is stressful. When things are bad with Little T, I watch a lot of tv. In the hospital, at home holding him being human pillow. When life gets too overwhelming and talking about it just won't help, I watch tv.

As drugs go, it's wonderful. It lets you forget about life for a while. It relaxes you. It produces a trance like state similar to that found in a good narcotic. Then you can turn the damn thing off,and except for having wasted some time, there are no side effects. And you might even learn something.

The righteous parents who decry how tv rots children's brains must have forgotten how much tv they watched as kids. The studies that show kids IQs dropping or speech delays with a few hours of tv a week seem extremely flawed to me. They are often based on self-reported data. Sure if you sit your child in front of the tv all damn day, their brain will rot. Not necessarily because of the tv watching, but because kids need stimulation besides tv. Or maybe the parents of kids with problems sit them in front of tv because they don't know what else to do with them. These parents will probably not admit in a survey that their child watches tv all day. Instead they'll respond a few hours a week like the rest of us.

Both my children watch tv as part of a balanced diet of activities. Special K also eats candy as part of a balanced diet of food. I feel sorry for those kids who never get to watch tv. I regard them the same as the child who never got to eat candy growing up. She was always sneaking candy, because it was this forbidden treat. Once your kids go to school, you can not escape tv or candy, so you may as well teach your kids to be responsible consumers.

Relationship models

I watched the Montel show on polyamory and it turned out to be surprisingly balanced and respectful. I thought a lot of the views that Montel voiced are simply what the average American thinks and feels. I thought it was interesting that Montel contrasted polyamory with the religious right's definition of relationships and said "by their standards we're all living wrong".

I did have one quibble which was that the people on the show were careful to say that they weren't advocating polyamory and of course the blurb made it out that they were saying it was "the best way". Neither am I. Polyamory works for some folks, but it requires a great deal of time and energy. If you read my blog for any length of time, you'll know I have very limited time and energy right now.

I just think it's important to talk about sex and love and your model for relationships with the person you're with. I don't think people talk enough about their assumptions. Basic assumptions like what constitutes sex and intimacy, whether or not to have kids, when to have kids, who will look after the kids, who will do chores, what's your basic spending patterns, attitudes towards money, etc. C and I talked a lot about these things before we got married and I attribute our basic level of happiness to our shared bedrock of common understanding and values.

Polyamory on Montel 11/29

Montel will be airing an episode on polyamory featuring a poly couple I know, as well as the couple listed below, and other poly people. In the SF bay area, it will air on Channel 2 at 4pm. I'm Tivoing it if anyone local wants to see it.

Someone reviewing the show blogged "This is the episode that was filmed a couple weeks ago, and will feature X and Y (who were on the Bullshit episode). The chatter is that the taping went quite well, and X was as articulate as ever. Apparently the audience was initially a bit hostile, but she turned it
around."

One of the people I know blogged "My favorite bit, though, has to be the fact that Montel chose to close the show with a video clip of Z's daughter (a very poised age 15, and a TV actress, among her other talents) saying how GREAT it was to be raised in a polyamorous household."

I haven't seen the show and I'm not sure how out the people are, or if they used real names on the show, so I'm not using real names for now.

I'm skeptical that Montel can produce a fair show on polyamory or indeed anything controversial really, but I'll watch and see. I just hope that Montel showed my friends in a good light since they are good-hearted people. And I understand their desire to talk about polyamory on tv to try to dispel myths about it. Like any sexuality that goes outside of societal norms, there's a lot of ignorance and prejudice against it.

But I have to say that if you've never heard of polyamory or know little about it, I suggest you go to polyamory.org rather than watch Montel.

Lost

I wrote 1000 words today so my non-fiction book is up to 14,800 words.

I'm enjoying Season 1 of "Lost" on DVD. I just got a membership with Blockbuster Online. At the store, Blockhead has a one-month trial membership for $9.99, 3 DVDs out a time, unlimited DVDS. Membership includes coupons for two free in-store rentals a month. Pretty good deal, at least for a month.

However "Lost" gets a little repetitive. Stop now if you don't want Season 1 spoilers. For example, we learn that Sawyer's dad killed his mother and then killed himself after a grifter swindled Sawyer's mother. Then a few episodes later, we actually see the scene. Gratuitous. We already know that it made Sawyer very very sad. Similarly we see several scenes in which we learn that Jin beats up people for Sun's dad the mafia boss and he hates it. Also weird things happen that surprise me, but so far the characters themselves haven't surprised me. Now in the "Sopranos", the characters themselves do things that surprise me while still acting entirely in character. Now that's really really cool. I hope I write like that.