Things I never thought I'd say or do as a parent

"Stop reading and put on your shoes."
"Don't use the dark force on your brother." (while playing Lego Star Wars)
"Stop drinking vinegar."
"No thanks, I don't like strawberries, lettuce and vinaigrette dressing."
Check labels for the highest fat content. (My son's is being weaned off a feeding tube.)

What's your list?

Crossposted to Silicon Valley Moms Blog