Bing to job ping

I essentially turned down the job ping by saying that I was only interested in part-time work. I thought about it for a day or two. We don't see a way for both C and I to work full-time and do all the things that need to be done for Little T. He has OT every week, which I could ask our nanny to take him to, but then he has other apts like his modified barium swallow, which take hours and he really needs a parent there. C wouldn't be happy working part-time. I'm not sure I would either, but that's another topic.

But the main reason boils down to I really want to give writing a shot and I definitely can't seriously write, work full-time and look after my family. It's one thing not to look for a job to write. It's a big deal to not pursue a job ping that comes out of the blue. I feel I made the right decision, but I'm quite scared. Actually I'm terrified. All my life I've been sensible about money. At age 25, I bought my first house on my own in the bay area, because I'd saved enough. Sure I've worked for several startups, but I always got a paycheck.

I wrote this is the first time I'm consciously choosing not to get a paycheck. That's not actually true. I was a computer consultant out in Philly and had a growing list of clients. In Dec '93 I left all that. I drove out to the bay area with no job to move in with housemates I'd met only over the Internet. It was one of the best decisions of my life. Then as now, I had this feeling that things would work out fine mixed with the sheer terror and exhilaration of leaping off a cliff. Breathe in. Breathe out. Please wish me luck.