Friday, August 26, 2005

Wedding nerves and what is love

I just realised I'm much more nervous about being a bridesmaid at my brother's wedding than a bride at my own. I knew I was marrying the right guy, so the rest was gravy. I figured if I made a total idiot of myself at my wedding, at least I'd end up with C at the end of it.

We had a lovely wedding, even though apparently someone did try to ruin it by making a big fuss. However we didn't hear about it until afterwards and this person fortunately only seemed to affect those immediately around them.

It was one of the best days of my life. I was filled with joy. People blog all the time about love and sometimes it sounds so simple and it isn't really. But I do have one simple thing to say about love. To me, love means that occasionally if it's only for a moment, you honestly and truly believe the person is the most amazing being on earth and it's because they did something that lights you up. For me, one of those moments was my wedding day. But weddings are often like that. There have to be others. Another for me was when C truly laughed at my silly jokes when Little T was so sick.

Sometimes people mistake love for I think X is the most amazing being on earth, because I love X. That's not love. That's tautology. If you never feel that way about your SO, it's not love, it's desperation or low self-esteem or something else that keeps you with that person. These feelings of amazement are usually fleeting and they never last. But those moments keep me going in the bad times. IMO sheer will power won't do it alone if you never have the moments of joyful amazement. It's also not worth it. Making a marriage last is hard work. Why do it if not for joy?

Some folks who've been married for a long time say you need to be able to fall in love again. I think I'm saying the same thing.

3 comments:

plantgirl said...

Okay, now I'm horribly curious. I know of a small fuss. Who made the big fuss?

Your wedding was really lovely, and I had a lot of fun at it. I'm glad you enjoyed it, too.

gconnor said...

I really loved your wedding. I especially loved the text of the ceremony itself and the beautiful site.

I wasn't aware of anyone making a fuss so it must not have affected everyone.

Thida said...

Thanks! I'm so glad you both enjoyed my wedding! And I'm glad you both weren't affected much. Woo hoo!